Arrancar Dreamtime
by Sparen
Summary: Based off of "The Dream Machine," Szayel has invented a dream recording device. Come and find out what happens to everyone! Rated T for suggestive themes. Hueco Mundo and Seireitei. Please Rate & Review!
1. Arrancar Dreamtime with the Aizen Group

Arrancar Dreamtime

Note: I do not own Bleach. I got this idea from a Naruto story called "The Dream Machine." I'm sorry since it's nowhere near as funny though. Dreams will be in italics.

Morning in the world of darkness is as dreadful as always. Szayel wrapped up his new invention with many different tapes. There was one for each Espada and many more for their Fracción and others. He also had a tape with a big purple "Aizen" on it. He laughed his heart out and left to Aizen's meeting.

Aizen spoke, "Welcome, all of the arrancar, to our meeting. We will now show 8th Espada Szayel Aporro Granz's invention and its results."

Grimmjow snored off as Wonderweiss stared into the middle of nowhere. Mila Rose and Apache argued in a corner.

Szayel stepped up and spoke, "These are the results of my latest experiment. Using my new memory recorder, I have recorded all of your dreams last night.

A very pissed off Apache screamed, "That's invading our privacy! Get over here! I'm going to punch you in the-."

Szayel coughed and placed the first cassette into the TV.

_In Coyote's dream, there was a sea of beanbags and pillows with barely moving clouds. There was only silence as clouds floated by. The entire group stood hypnotized for 10 minutes before Lilynette and Nnoitra attacked Szayel, smashing him into a wall. _

"C'mon! Give me a break! I don't want to watch this boring $#!+!" yelled Nnoitra.

Lilynette complained and Szayel inserted the next cassette.

_In Lilynette's dream, there was Coyote being beaten up and mutilated in various ways, from his crotch being hit by a basketball to his hair being incinerated with a cero. Lilynette cried out war cries throughout the dream as blood erupted from Coyote. A giant axe smashed into his chest and blood spurted out in various directions._

Coyote wondered what his other half was really thinking and yawned.

Szayel then prepared the next set.

_Baraggan's dream erupted as a desert full of blood, mutilated bodies, and a dark night sky full of chains and other sharp weapons coated in a layer of red blood. The sand was dripping and the bodies of Aizen, Gin, and Tosen were under guillotines. The chains snapped and their heads were lopped off. _

Gin shivered and a drop of sweat dripped from his forehead as he watched.

_Aizen's head laughed in a creepy manner and blood pooled out onto the sandy ground. Gin's head was left in its infinitely insane smile with eyes still in their fox shape. Then a giant cero vaporized the three and blasted the rest of the machinery into the black sky._

Apache, Lilynette, Mila Rose, Sun Sun, Wonderweiss, and Dordonii stated at the carnage and tried to ignore it. Zommari commented on how unethical it was. Cirucci turned her head away and waited for the others.

Szayel stated that he was missing Findor's and those of Ggio, Nirgge, and Poww. He inserted Aviramma's.

_Aviramma danced naked, screaming various cries of carnage while staring at a pole with a stuffed doll attached to it, as if praying. Many equally disturbing arrancar watched him, including shinigami such as Kira, abeit without any muscle and with pudgy arms. He twirled in a rather awkward way and bowed down to the ground._

Gin wondered if that was truly how Aviramma saw Kira. The girls looked away and Aviramma smiled before asking a random arrancar if he was sexy. She replied, "No! Get away from me, you creep!" Aviramma collapsed and Grimmjow stated, "She likes me more than she likes you." Aviramma demanded to know why Grimmjow was better than he was. Ggio sarcastically explained, "It's because he's an Espada and you're a weak Fracción like me." Aviramma shut up as Cuuhlhourne's dream entered the TV.

_Many roses bloomed in a world of flowers. Cuuhlhourne in his Resurrección danced in the field like a ballerina and his ugly face crowded the screen. Yumichika then appeared. Cuuhlhourne blew a flower to him and it exploded in his face, blowing him into a thorny bush. Cuuhlhourne gave a disturbing laugh and danced away._

Apache retched in disgust as Cuuhlhourne himself began to dance. A kunai then ripped his hair off, leaving him bald.

Grimmjow held the knife and sat back down. Szayel momentarily coughed and inserted the next tape.

_In Harribel's dream, an ocean awaited and the sun shone. Nothing happened for the next 20 minutes. Fish swam._

Szayel blinked and inserted Apache's.

_Apache and Mila Rose argued in the woods. "Hey, you. I will protect Harribel-sama better than you will." "No, you flat-chested idiot,__** I**__ will." The two continued to argue throughout the night. _

Apache blinked and frowned. Szayel had lost Mila Rose's and Sun Sun's, so he inserted Ulquiorra's dream.

_In a pitch-black area, Ulquiorra talked to himself. "What is a heart? What are feelings? My eye sees all, so it must not exist. Yet it does. Why? If I cannot see it, …"_

Ulquiorra wondered why he was still acting as if he was an emotionless being with no personality whatsoever.

Szayel put in Nnoitra's next. He smiled patiently.

"_DESTROY EVERYTHING!" "DESTROY!" "CERO!" The wide ray killed off an army of shinigami. A series of bala smashed Grimmjow into a wall, wiping his crotch out and making him bleed. Nnoitra laughed maniacally, firing ceros at the other Espada._

Baraggan and Grimmjow stared at Nnoitra and then Grimmjow jumped off, slashing Nnoitra across the chest. He demanded to know why Nnoitra did such a thing. Nnoitra's answer? "Because I felt like it."

As half of the wall caved in, Szayel put in Grimmjow's. Unfortunately, it malfunctioned and the tapes for his Fracción smashed into Nnoitra's face. Tesla watched as his tape was bashed against Cirucci's head. She slashed it in half immediately and Zommari's went in.

_Meditation. Meditation. Meditation. Meditation. Meditation._

Once the fighting ceased, Yammy asked if Zommari had always been so dull. Aaroniero's was next.

_Aaroniero waited in the Forest of Menos, killing and absorbing thousands of hollows and menos. He happily took in an Adjuchas and cackled as the meat flowed into his body. His disgusting body blowed and wiggled in a very strange manner._

Aaroniero blinked and Szayel stated that Yammy's dream consisted of eating and sleeping.

Wonderweiss was next, and his was just a dull series of nothingness. The Privaron Espada had nothing worthwhile to see, so they left. Their dreams consisted of dancing and destruction. Rudobone's consisted of nothingness as well, except with laughing in the background and white trees scattered all over with heads dangling instead of fruit.

Finally, Tosen's went in. There seemed to be a malfunction and it exploded. Gin chuckled as his went in.

_A world of blood dripped from nothingness as Gin laughed on and on. Then he jumped out into…_

Szayel turned blue.

…_Matsumoto Rangiku's supersized watermelons!_

Grimmjow ignored the tightening in his pants as Szayel's dream went in. Szayel, wondering what his dream was like, eagerly awaited.

_In a secret laboratory, Szayel carefully examined the corpses of the Espada and their Fracción. He gave Harribel a poke and flicked Grimmjow's perfect body in a way so that it looked more like Aaroniero, who looked like a mutant because of his head. Aaroniero had no real structure and Szayel took him down for experimentation, first cutting the head open and pulling things out of the body. He poked the fat covered body and chuckled before stabbing Ulquiorra with a finger. He gave a horrifying laugh as he took Grimmjow's body down and began to play with it in a very ... interesting manner._

_-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-CENSORED-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-_

Grimmjow asked how Szayel knew exactly what they looked like, sword behind his back. He jumped out and the other Espada soon joined in with the fight. As curses erupted, Aizen picked up his own dream and left with Gin and Tosen. Grimmjow landed a massive wound on Szayel's head and Szayel attempted to poke his sword between his legs. Grimmjow dodged and Aaroniero smashed Nejibana into his face. They continued to massacre Szayel and Sun Sun chuckled far off.

The End

To my viewers,

I'm sorry if the fic wasn't very funny. I do have a Bleach adventure fic called _The Resurrection._ There is also a poll for it and a forum for Kido hidden deep in the pile. Thanks for reading!


	2. REVENGE

Arrancar Dreamtime Part 2

Note: Since the story was quite popular, I'm adding a new chapter!

Once Szayel had gone to bed, the arrancar, all bruised and battered, formulated individual revenge plots. They silently planned to do malicious things to Szayel (and to each other).

Lilynette crept into Szayel's lab. She silently swapped two very nasty chemicals and moved the results of Szayel's experiments into a different drawer. She silently destroyed a few cabinets and snuck out.

Baraggan silently entered and quickly destroyed the floor below Szayel's bed just so that it wouldn't fall. He then destroyed half of the lab.

Tia blasted a single Ola Azul and Szayel smashed five floors below. She smiled at Baraggan as Ulquiorra entered.

Ulquiorra darkly dropped twenty sleeping pills into the unconscious Szayel's mouth.

Nnoitra and Grimmjow then came in. They both released their Zanpakuto and in thirty seconds, the entire lab was destroyed and collapsing. They then proceeded to attack each other.

Grimmjow yelled out at Nnoitra for dreaming about such anti-Grimmjow things. He smashed a dart into Nnoitra, blasting him away. Nnoitra responded by blasting a cero. Grimmjow was then attacked by a bald Cuuhlhourne, who promptly smashed his head. Grimmjow lay unharmed and the three proceeded to wreck the lab even further.

The swapped chemicals resulted on a massive explosion and the three arrancar fled.

Afterwards, Aaroniero drenched the entire area with Nejibana and Szayel woke up to a destroyed lab caving in on him. He stood up in the dark room and turned on a handy flashlight.

It flashed into Dondochakka's face and Szayel screamed out in horror…

Meanwhile, Aizen watched his dream, chuckling darkly.

The End…Again

To my viewers:

Once more, I'm sorry if it wasn't very funny. I'm sorry that it's short.


	3. Espada set 2 in the Palacio Real

Arrancar Dreamtime

Notes: My story The Resurrection's OCs will be featured here, even those that have barely appeared or have been created a few days ago. Once again, dreams themselves will be in italics. The characters will all be together, even if some were dead when others hadn't been created yet.

The Palacio Real. Fabulous in its glory and overwhelming, was no match for the outbreak the next day.

Dravinn yawned at Sherrein, who yawned back. Miria blinked at the screen. Green and Harr sat silently. Miranda sat calmly and Gigg coughed. Hallire smacked her Fracción and Gigg glared. Raynner gave a very bored glance at the screen as Harinn began to explain what she had done.

"Last night, I found the memory recording device of former Octava Espada Szayel Aporro Granz. As a result, I have taken the liberty of recording all of your dreams and will play them. Also, I would like Raynner to deliver the device to Kurotsuchi-taichō in Soul Society afterwards. Let us begin."

The first tape went in.

_Drenn sat on a giant throne with millions of hollow and arrancar bowing to him. He then yelled, "Where is my slave? I must use her now." An arrancar brought the pretty Miria up to him and he lunged forward as she screamed._

-CENSORED-

Sherrein slashed Drenn across the face with his sword and Drenn found himself pinned to a wall with a Bakudō 62: Hyappōrankan. Miria tossed a blade of wind in her released form and Drenn collapsed. Harinn blinked as the set rolled on. Miranda and Dravinn stared.

_Hyaar sat in a boiling magma pool with his Fracción Hirren. "Doesn't it feel good to be a man and not that fat Greirr who eats and sleeps all day?" "Yes, but why does he have all of those friends? Can't he go out with that 12__th__ Division Captain or something on a date?"_

There was extreme laughter from everyone but Greirr, Iigr, and Gyrren. Greirr fumed and Sherrein laughed along with the equally (Sherrein's more popular, actually) popular Raynner.

"_Sherrein, lets have fun tonight in bed…" "Okay!" Miria and Sherrein snuggled up under some covers and had some fun._

-CENSORED-

Raynner turned red, as did Sherrein and Miria. Miranda and Dravinn only wondered what their Espada was truly doing. They watched the tape roll on.

_*Horrible singing* The opera was still going on as the pitch grew louder... and louder... And Louder... AND LOUDER... AND LOUDER..._

Sherrein retched onto the ground in disgust as Hallire turned beet red at her dream.

_*****__Weird noises* Sherrein gave a sigh and woke up from his dream inside the dream. He then flung off his shirt and walked around the garden near the 9__th__ Division Compound. He stretched and a thousand girls came to stare at his body. Many tried to look closer, but were unable to. There were some strange liquids out in the garden that day._

Sherrein said, "Well, all of the girls think I'm cool so it's only natural that they would want to see me without my shirt on." Raynner said nothing, but grinned at the already shirtless Espada. (Not that he had a shirt on, but…)

_A pool of sludge bubbled up through the ground as Greirr cackled in his sludge bath, fat, disgusting, and putrid._

Miria's breakfast was on the ground in a pool of vomit. Harinn turned blue and coughed. Miranda collapsed and had a mental breakdown. Sherrein turned blue and Greirr grinned. Drenn watched from his place on the wall. Iigr and Gyrren had their dreams missing, as did Miorr and, suspiciously, Harinn herself. Harr and Green left without a word, and the entire crowd evaporated.

Raynner and Sherrein blinked and accepted the strange device.

Soul Society's destruction was coming along very smoothly.

Nemu took a blow to the head from her father and began to type as the bell rang.

To be continued?

Definitely.

And we shall watch as Kurotsuchi destroys Soul Society.

Tobiume: Dravinn-kun~. I want to go out on a date with you.~

Dravinn: ...Hinamori's in big trouble. And definitely Matsumoto...


	4. Seireitei is Done For

Arrancar Dreamtime

Notes: Once more, I do not own Bleach, but I do claim my original characters. From this point on, the MASKED guidebook's names will be used for arrancar. I will use the Bleach Wiki's Romanization. Also, despite this fact, no more arrancar besides my OCs will be shown here in this fic. I had an idea but I decided to do away with the memory recorder. So, enjoy the Kurotsuchi's destruction. It only takes one viewing to reveal everything. *Snicker*

Sherrein nervously spoke, "Kurotsuchi-taichō, we have a gift for you. It is the dream-recording machine invented by the late 8th Espada Szayelaporro Granz (His name is now one word, but I'll keep it as Szayel in most cases). It has brought terror and destruction to Las Noches over the past decade. We hope that you will have a pleasant experience while showing the private lives of the shinigami."

Mayuri curtly nodded and began to examine the mysterious machine as Nemu stared.

Two days later, the main area in Seireitei for shinigami meetings was crammed full of Captains, Lieutenants, and high-ranking officers, along with some Zanpakutō spirits materialized by Suikesshō. The crowd hushed as Mayuri walked onto the stage with Nemu.

Mayuri began to speak. "To all of Seireitei's high-ranking officers, I now present your dreams. Please enjoy.

Byakuya turned purple as Yoruichi gave a large snicker from behind. Rukia turned beet red and Nanao gave a death glare to her captain. The video began.

_In a room full of flames, the Captain Commander sat in a rocking chair, snoring as his sword baked some potatoes."_

The Captain Commander got some questionable glances.

_It was teatime and Ch__ōjirō was preparing a specialty. He put the tea in the instant tea machine and flicked the switch. It refused to turn on. Then there was a blast from the 12__th__ Division offices as a rampaging Ashisogi Jizō in Bankai mode spewed tea all across Seireitei._

Chōjirō blinked twice and wondered what he was truly like. He got some stares.

_Soi Fon and Yoruichi sat on a bench, eating various cat cookies and looking at cat magazines. The two talked about boring things and giggled. Yoruichi then whacked Soi Fon and left. Soi Fon returned home, threw a kunai into her lieutenant's face, and went off to bed in her room, which was filled with cat posters._

Byakuya blinked. Marechiyo simply stated, "Predictable." Soi Fon smirked as the next dream popped up.

_Marechiyo sat in a room filled to the brim with expensive rice crackers infused with ginseng and other weight adding materials. He gorged and his little sister Mareyo entered. Marechiyo glared and hollered, mouth full of crackers, "Get away from my crackers, ugly one!" Mareyo left and Marechiyo continued to gorge himself._

Soi Fon said, "Predictable." Marechiyo turned paler than Ulquiorra ever was. Ayame tensed up as her dream entered.

_Ayame walked round in a fan shop. She stared at various fans and then watched as Matsumoto chased Sherrein down the street. She exited and her handy Fujiyukihō crashed into Matsumoto's face. She told Sherrein to run, and Matsumoto fell. The Fourth Division arrived and Dravinn was unwilling to help, as was expected._

Yachiru wondered when snacks would appear again. Kira's tape malfunctioned and Unohana's tape was inserted.

_In a field of medicinal herbs, Unohana challenged Kenpachi to a sword-fighting contest. He agreed and Unohana finished him off in two slashes. He fell, bleeding, and Unohana walked away._ (Actually, Unohana is one of the most offensive Captains, surprisingly)

Kenpachi blasted reiatsu up and in five seconds, he was on the ground bleeding. Unohana gave an evil chuckle and gave him a full dosage of her death stare. He shivered. Isane whimpered.

_FISH CAKE. _

Isane collapsed and Dravinn immediately yanked a first aid kit out of his uniform. Isane breathed heavily, sweating. The others stared. Harunobu was next.

_Harunobu recalled his enter to the Shinigami Men's Association for the mast manly cellphone. He once more returned to the Kill Phone, which sent thousands of prank calls to those on the Kill List. Iemura was on the list._

Harunobu dodged Iemura's fist and watched as Shirai's tape exploded. Hinamori was next, and nervous glances floated around the room.

To Be Continued.

Name Changes and additions:

Nnoitra Gilga

Yammy Llargo

Luppi Antenor

Apacci

Tesra Lindocruz

Di Roy Rinker

Shawlong Koufang

Nakeem Grindina

Loly Aivirrne

Menoly Mallia

Dondochakka Birstanne

Aisslinger Wernarr

Demoura Zodd


	5. Tsugi wa Hinamori?

Arrancar Dreamtime

Notes: Once more, I do not own Bleach, but I do claim my original characters. From this point on, the MASKED guidebook's names will be used for arrancar. I will use the Bleach Wiki's Romanization. Also, despite this fact, no more arrancar besides my OCs will be shown here in this fic. I had an idea but I decided to do away with the memory recorder. So, enjoy the Kurotsuchi's destruction. It only takes one viewing to reveal everything. *Snicker* This is Part 5.

Shirai shivered uncertainly and watched as Hinamori cried out.

_Hinamori and T__ōshirō sat on a bench, eating snacks and drinking (not surprisingly) iced peach and persimmon tea. (Momo hates plums, even though her Zanpakutō means flying plum). They chuckled together and a giant Aizen floated up behind them…_

Momo screamed and collapsed, breathing heavily. Tōshirō blinked as if questioning her rationality. Mayuri blinked and Komamura's video began.

_A young Komamura stood with his father. His father began to speak. "Sajin. This is a carrot. These are not what we are to eat. Please understand." Sajin spoke. "Yes, father. I shall never eat carrots. I shall leave them to the bunnies." Komamura's father spoke again. "Eat the rabbits instead."_

Rukia cried out in horror and began to cry. "Why the cute little rabbits? WHY? The adorable..." Renji asked her if something was wrong with her. Byakuya silently threw two tapes behind a bush. Tetsuzaemon's video was missing, destroyed by Ikkaku in bloody rage while Yumichika looked on.

Yachiru smiled and picked up Byakuya and Renji's dreams from behind a bush. Byakuya glared as Mayuri demanded to know why Byakuya was hiding himself. He asked, "Are you doing dirty things, my dear test subject?"

"Chire, Senbonzakura."

Mayuri was pummeled by a storm of blades and he stood up, bloody. "Bakudō 63: Sajō Sabaku." Byakuya crashed in his bindings and Yachiru promptly delivered the next set of tapes. Byakuya grimaced and Renji's smile instantly disappeared. He silently hoped that it wasn't _THAT _dream.

To be continued…

Please rate and review!


	6. Byakuchi

Arrancar Dreamtime

Notes: Once more, I do not own Bleach, but I do claim my original characters. From this point on, the MASKED guidebook's names will be used for arrancar. I will use the Bleach Wiki's Romanization. This is Part 6. Enjoy!

"Byakuchi! I can't wait!" Yachiru jumped up and down as Byakuya's dream started.

_Byakuya sat in a room with fancy calligraphy everywhere. He was at a table and held a furniture magazine in his hand and ordered a gold rimmed table with a marble and ruby countertop. He flipped through and after some boredom, put his hand in his hakama and then… "TAICH__Ō! There's a big problem! The-" Renji's smile dropped and he blinked. Byakuya turned red and –"_

Shunsui picked his nose and Matsumoto giggled as Byakuya blasted a stream of unrefined insults at Mayuri, who cocked his head to the side. Nemu blinked.

Yachiru giggled and Renji's was next.

_Renji sat in a hot spring naked with Rukia nearby. Rikichi watched as Renji polluted the water with sweat from his body. He lifted a sixty pound weight out of the water and clenched his teeth. Rukia asked him if he needed to cool down. Her katana was nearby. Renji winced and Rikichi muttered "He really isn't very smart, isn't he. He's really just a cool, ripped muscle guy who can't think out a strategy correctly." Rukia nodded and added "Look at his Kidō. It's worse than his brain."_

_Renji was sweating in terror of his nightmare. Rukia and Rikichi nodded at the TV, making it even worse. Shunsui's was next._

_-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-CENSORED-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-_

A calculus textbook crashed into Shunsui's face as Nanao glared. Her virulent look without her glasses frightened him. Tatsufusa was having fantasies about Soi Fon nearby.

Nanao coughed briefly and the next tape went in.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Please rate and review!

(I'm sorry I can only upload a new part about once a month though) :(

The new chapters will be shorter than usual as well.


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